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In today’s digital age, mobile phones have almost become the “electronic nanny” for children. Have you noticed that whether in restaurants, shopping malls, or at family gatherings, children are always looking down at their phone screens, swiping their fingers quickly, completely immersed in the virtual world.
This situation leaves many parents feeling anxious and helpless: Why are children so obsessed with mobile phones? Can the joys of real life really not compete with them?
From a neuroscience perspective [1] , the games, videos, and social media on mobile phones are like a magical box, containing endless novelty and excitement. These contents are carefully designed to quickly attract children’s attention and provide instant feedback and rewards, making children feel satisfied and happy. In contrast, activities in real life often lack this kind of instant stimulation and feedback, and children are easily bored.
Have you ever thought that children’s obsession with mobile phones is not just a simple entertainment need, but more likely that we have not provided them with rich, interesting, and attractive alternative activities in real life?
The world inside the mobile phone is full of instant feedback and endless novelty, while activities in real life often require more patience and time to experience. When children cannot find enough fun and a sense of achievement in real life, mobile phones naturally become their “safe haven”. .
Excessive obsession with mobile phones,
the harm to children is far-reaching
However, this phenomenon of excessive obsession with mobile phones has many dangers to children’s growth. Don’t believe it, the three big mountains of contemporary parents raising children: vision, obesity, height are all closely related to looking at mobile phones.
Staring at the mobile phone screen for a long time will not only affect children’s vision, leading to myopia and other issues;
And due to lack of exercise, it leads to children obesity, cervical and other issues, which in turn affects height .
More importantly, excessive obsession with mobile phones will affect children’s social skills and emotional development . Children spend too much time in the virtual world, which reduces the opportunities for face-to-face communication with family and friends, leading to a decline in social skills and even loneliness, anxiety and other emotional issues.
So, as parents, how can we help our children come out of the virtual world of mobile phones and rediscover the fun in real life? This is not only a technical issue, but also an educational issue.
We need to start from the psychological needs of children and find the right solutions. We cannot simply blame or restrict , but should take positive actions, help children rediscover the overlooked beauty and fun in life . What should we do?
Starting from the child’s interests
First and foremost, start from the child’s interests. Every child has their own unique interests, and these interests are their windows to explore the world. .
Parents need to observe carefully and discover what their children truly like.
For example, some children like painting, parents can prepare a variety of painting materials for them, and even take them to visit art museums;
Some children are curious about nature, parents can arrange outdoor adventure activities, go to the suburbs to observe insects, and collect plant specimens together.
When children achieve a sense of accomplishment in their areas of interest, they will naturally reduce their dependence on mobile phones. .
Speaking of this, I remember a consultation I once received, a parent was very anxious, saying that her 5-year-old child always asked for a mobile phone, which made her very headache.
The child just started kindergarten, and the parent said that since the child was at home during the epidemic, he developed a strong interest in mobile phones and watched a certain video app every day without fail.
Later, it even developed to the point where the parent had to offer the child the condition of watching mobile phones in exchange for doing any task. After such high-density and “intimate contact” with the mobile phone, the child’s dependence on the mobile phone became deeper and deeper – he had to watch when he got home from school, watch while eating, watch after finishing his homework, watch while taking a bath, and even take a look before going to bed. If the parent did not meet his request, the child would cry and make a fuss, making the parent very exhausted. .
I carefully asked about the child’s daily routine and performance at school, and found that the child did watch the mobile phone for a long time. According to the mobile phone records, the child watched for a total of 2 hours a day, which is twice the recommended duration of the World Health Organization for children of preschool age to watch electronic screens every day. [2] !
At that time, I asked the parent: “Do you look at your mobile phone when you are with your child?”
The parent said: “I do look at my mobile phone, also because of work needs, often replying to messages on the mobile phone.”
“If you don’t look at your mobile phone, are there any other projects that the child likes?”
The parent shook his head with some difficulty: “I really haven’t found out what else he is interested in!”
I was a bit surprised: “Has he ever tried other projects? For example, sports activities, nothing of interest?”
The parent said: “Before the epidemic, the child learned to roller skate and liked it very much, but the epidemic interrupted it and did not continue. There has been no contact with other projects since then.”
Asking here, the reason for the child’s obsession with mobile phones is very clear – apart from the mobile phone, the child has not been exposed to other interesting projects, and there is no other way for him to get the same pleasure as watching mobile phones, so it is also difficult to shift his attention from the mobile phone.
From this case, it can be seen that children’s obsession with mobile phones is often because they have not found interesting and attractive activities in real life. As parents, we need to take the initiative to discover the child’s interests and create more opportunities for them to explore these interests. .
Creating a rich family activity
Secondly, create a rich family activity. The family is the harbor for children’s growth and also an important place for them to have fun. .
Parents can regularly organize family game days , play board games, guess riddles, do handicrafts together, these activities can not only enhance parent-child relationships, but also make children feel happy in interaction.
In addition, family trips are also a good choice . Whether it is a short trip around the area or a long vacation, it can expose children to different cultures and environments, broaden their horizons, and enrich their life experiences.
Speaking of this, parents may say that they are busy with work and have no time. In modern society, working parents need to learn to seek a balance between work and parenting, rather than neglecting one for the other.
When parents prioritize spending quality time with their children, they can effectively accompany their children. After all, children grow up in just a few years, and if they miss it, they may really not be able to come back.
Encourage children to participate in social activities
Furthermore, encourage children to participate in social activities. Social interaction is an important part of children’s growth and also an important way for them to have fun. .
Parents can encourage children to join interest groups, community activities, or school clubs, allowing them to find a sense of belonging and achievement in interactions with their peers.
For example, participating in some sports with social attributes, such as soccer, basketball, badminton, etc., can not only exercise the body but also cultivate team spirit;
Joining a choir can allow children to find happiness in music.
Lead by example and be a role model for your child
Finally, lead by example and be a role model for your child. Children are the mirrors of their parents, and they will imitate the behavior of adults. If parents are also obsessed with mobile phones, children will naturally follow suit. Therefore, parents need to lead by example, reduce their own use of mobile phones, and participate more in beneficial activities. .
For example, parents can read and exercise with their children, using practical actions to tell children that there are too many interesting things in life worth exploring.
By these methods, we can help children find more fun in real life, thus reducing their dependence on mobile phones. But these are not enough, we also need to further guide children on how to spend “boring time” without mobile phones.
Learning to create and spend “boring time”
This may sound a bit contradictory, after all, we were just emphasizing that children’s lives should be full of fun, but in fact, “boring time” is also important for children.
Why is “boring time” important for children?
In “boring time”, children have the opportunity to clear their minds, engage in free thinking, and self-exploration. This time can help children develop creativity, imagination, and independent thinking skills. .
When children are not occupied by the instant stimulation of mobile phones or other electronic devices, they are more likely to use their imagination and create their own games and stories. This process of self-exploration is crucial for children’s mental development. .
I once met a 7-year-old boy whose parents told me that the child always picked up his mobile phone as soon as he came home from school, and it was difficult to stop him once he started using it.
The parents tried various methods, such as limiting mobile phone use time and confiscating mobile phones, but the effects were not ideal. The child even showed obvious anxiety and restlessness without a mobile phone.
In communicating with the parents, I learned that the child’s life was arranged very tightly, and there was almost no “boring time”. After school every day, the child either did homework or attended various tutoring classes, and there was almost no opportunity to arrange his own time. I suggested that parents try to create some “boring time” for their children, giving them the opportunity to explore and discover fun on their own. .
Parents began to try to arrange 30 minutes of “free time” every day, during which the child could do anything he wanted, but could not use mobile phones or other electronic devices. At first, the child seemed a bit at a loss, not knowing what to do.
But slowly, he began to try to build blocks by himself, draw, and even make up stories. The parents were pleasantly surprised to find that the child showed amazing creativity and imagination during the “free time”. .
So, the question comes –
How to create “boring time”?
1. Set a fixed “free time”:
Arrange a period of time every day for children to freely arrange activities, but they cannot use mobile phones or other electronic devices.
This period can be 30 minutes to 1 hour, and the specific duration can be adjusted according to the child’s age and interests.
2. Reduce external stimulation:
During “free time”, try to reduce external disturbances and stimulation. For example, turn off the TV, put away mobile phones, and let children explore freely in a
quiet environment.
.
3. Encourage children to explore independently:
During “free time”, encourage children to explore and discover fun on their own. Parents can
provide some simple materials,
such as paper, colored pens, building blocks, etc., but do not interfere too much with the child’s activities. Let children create and imagine on their own, which can not only cultivate their creativity but also enhance their self-confidence.
4. Lead by example:
Parents also need to learn to enjoy “boring time”.
During “free time”, parents can engage in some simple activities with their children, such as reading, drawing, and doing handicrafts. By their actions, they set an example for their children, showing them that “boring time” can also be full of fun.
Of course, the above few suggestions are far from enough to meet the needs of creating boring time. Here are a few examples to throw a brick to attract jade for everyone, and also welcome everyone to write about various ideas of boring time in the comment area!
Content Editor LEE
Disclaimer: The purpose of the article is to provide general health information. For personal medical issues, please consult a doctor. To reprint the article, please contact: medicine@distinctclinic.com.
